Of Bond Things Past, Present, and Future

Oh, Skyfall, Skyfall, Skyfall – I thought you’d never get here, but here you are...and there you’ve been, with your winks to classic elements of your enjoyable heritage (check out that pic above again, y’all) and making millions around the worlds before coming out stateside.

Good goin’, Mr. Bond.

For a while there, it looked as if the latest 007 adventure starring Daniel Craig wouldn’t happen at all. It has been five long years since Quantum of Solace, and in that time, MGM ran into financial woes. If anything or anyone was ever going to serve as an incentive for the studio to get its act together (GTS), that was always gonna be James Bond.

So let's just say he did it, and does it in this new movie, for queen, country...and Hollywood.

I ascribe that savior descriptive to the legendary character (who is seriously looking bettah than evah as he celebrates his 50th anniversary this year, by the way) because – Minor Spoiler Alert! – Bond like, dies in this 23rd chapter of the franchise.

Ish.

As he says in the movie’s trailer, though, the guy has a special hobby: resurrection.

And, boy, does he come alive in this one – especially after the halfway point of the movie’s 145-minute run – because in this one, the bad guy hits home.

The Sam Mendes-directed movie opens with Bond and an associate named Eve (Naomie Harris, whom you should remember from 28 Days Later and Miami Vice) in hot pursuit of a murderous suspect through the streets, markets, and outskirts of Istanbul.

The pre-credits-featuring-Adele’s-titular-theme-song sequence is fackin’ phenomenal and thrilling, but I won’t go into too much detail here or elsewhere when it comes to plot descriptions because that’s why you go to the movies...and I know you don’t want your fun spoiled now, do ya. Let me just say Bond fails in his mission. A shot is fired. He is believed dead.

Of course, he isn’t.

While he is recuperating nicely and bare-chestedly on some beachy paradise somewhere off the grid, MI6 and, more pressingly, M (Judi Dench) become the target of bloody cyberattacks.

With the integrity of the British spy game compromised – the intel Bond and Eve were tracking is directly tied to these attacks – and M’s steely leadership of the agency in question (enter Ralph Fiennes as a is-he-good-or-is-he-bad? suit), Bond comes back from the dead and reports for duty.

That’s our good 007! And M’s.

With the help of a new Q (Ben Wishaw, whom I am finding increasingly appealing), our favorite licensed to kill agent tracks down the cyberterrorist behind the mayhem, meeting an alluring creature along the way, natch. She’s the beautiful and vulnerable Severine (Bérénice Lim Marlohe), and she has a word of warning: The man he is looking for embodies fear unlike any Bond has ever met.

He is Silva, a slithery creep that sooo should go down as one of Javier Bardem’s most memorable creations thanks to another signature hair situation (a blond that’s almost white, and a long that’s long enough to be sophisticated in a ponytail...and menacing when it’s undone and seen through flames).

Silva has history and beef with Bond and, in particular with M – or don’t they remember. And Silva is dead-set on not only making M suffer (he makes her watch as he blows up MI6, he threatens the lives of all her spies); he wants to introduce her to her maker.

The guy is fearsome because he gets his evil on by getting under his prey’s skin. He likes to keep his distance (that’s why he’s a cyberterrorist who operates from a remote abandoned island), so he can get in people’s heads...make them feel like sitting ducks.

One of the big questions in Skyfall is: Can he get under Bond’s skin and test his loyalty to M so that he unwittingly becomes a pawn in his plan?

The bigger, more important question of the movie is: Is there still a place in the world for the likes of 007 and his operation?

By the end of the coulda-been-tauter-in-the-middle-there movie, the answer is clear. And the cost of that answer, found in the coldness of the Scottish Highlands, is both sad and reinvigorating.

So here’s to the first 50...and to the next 50.

My Rating ****

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Mission: Love

The lucky one? More like, the buff one.

I’m talking of course about how good Zac Efron looks in his new movie, The Lucky One, an adaptation of a Nicholas Sparks novel for which the actor packed on almost 20 lbs. of muscle poundage.

The actor plays Sgt. Logan Thibault like a golden retriever of a former Marine – a good thing since he spends a great deal of his time working in the family-run dog kennel of the object of his affection, which, btw, is located in the most picturesque setting of Louisiana I’ve ever seen committed to film.

Like, I want to go to there.

Ah, but I digress.

As I was saying, Efron spends a lot of time working and then quietly wooing the kennel’s owner, a woman named Beth, nicely and quirkily played by the lovely Taylor Schilling, whom you may know as the once-upon-a-time-two-seasons-ago star of TV’s Mercy.

Beth is initially reluctant to hire Logan. I think she finds his inner life much too mysterious, and his chivalry rather off-putting (Logan is the kind of guy who says things like “please” and “thank you” and calls Beth’s doting grandmother – Blythe Danner, an earthy hoot as always – “ma’am,” while her ex is the son of a prominent local big deal and a cop with a short fuse). She’s wary of him as soon as he mentions he’s a vet and reluctant to hire him, but he ultimately gets the job (thanks, grandma!)

Obviously, it’s only a matter of time until she takes a shining to the guy. How could she not, after all? He’s got 20 lbs. of young Marine-ness on him, a killer smile (when he smiles), and baby blues that are as debunking as any I’ve ever seen. Surely, if she doesn’t want him....

Nah, I’m not going there. Anyway....

This being a (light) romantic drama based on a Sparks novel, know this meet isn’t happenstance. Logan came to find her because Beth is the woman in the photo he found while proudly serving his third tour of duty out in Iraq – a pic he came to think of as lucky charm for coming upon it quite literally saved his life.

Of course, this is the conflict of the story: Logan has a secret about Beth and her...significance to him, and as secrets do, this one eventually comes out, jeopardizing the couple’s burgeoning relationship and his bond with her adorable young son.

I won’t spoil how the whole thing unravels because, this being a Sparks novel, you probably know there’ll be some sort of tragic twist to the whole thing. So that leaves me with having to focus on the acting and the chemistry between Efron an Schilling.

Let’s start with the latter.

This most-photogenic pairs works well together. It’s no wonder there were short-lived rumors the two were hooking up off-set while making The Lucky One. But she looks a bit too old for him; try as he might, Efron's still got a mean baby face, and some scruff ain’t gonna cut it, buddy. Not that Schilling is that much older than him – a quick IMDb search said she’s only three years his senior. She just looks a lot more...wise than he does (which helps her character, but not the movie...it’s a bit distracting).

This brings me to the former topic of discussion, the acting.

Schilling shows off some nice potential-leading-lady chops, although I’m not sure she’s quite there yet, as in ready for the silver screen. Or maybe this just wasn’t the proper intro – having seen her on Mercy, albeit briefly, I know she has more in her than playing somewhat-suffering stock.

Efron, meanwhile, also acquits himself well as a leading man, but, again, he’s a zygote. I’m not sayin’ he should be playing 17 again (see what I did there, Efron fans?), but when he’s given material that has him doing a confessional and his acting comes off a bit Nicolas Cage-y...I’m not sure that’s good. Oh, and the movie loses points for not featuring the guy shirtless more. Twenty pounds of muscle.... Hello!

Still, though, The Lucky One, while not the best one, just might be a nice-enough date-night time. So check it out – if anything, it’ll give ya an idea for a future getaway. Otherwise, wait until you can watch it in the comfort of your own home with your lucky one.

My Rating **

Photo: Warner Bros.

Where’s the Love

The state of affairs is bleak in Blue Valentine, perhaps, the bestest sad movie I have ever seen.

Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams star as a young couple facing the dissolution of their six-year marriage as we, the audience, are allowed extended peeks at the early days of their once-loving relationship.

That was then and this...this is now.

Director Derek Cianfrance tells his story in non-chronological order, which only heightens the melancholy of his long-gestating project. This is the love story of Dean and Cindy, and theirs is the kind of love that has burnt bright and fast. Meant to last they were not, but meant to mean something...that they were.

Both Gosling and Williams are at the top of their game as two people so disillusioned with each other, with their relationship, there’s no denying it. Each has a longing for the other, but also a disdain that’s unmistakable. He, a house painter who doesn’t want (or need) more out of life, can’t understand why she can’t just be happy with what they have, with their family (they have a 6-year-old cute-as-a-button daughter), while, she, a nurse who still would like more (like, say, becoming the doctor she had set out to be at first), wishes he would get up and finally start living up to his potential.

They’re both flooded by those first few months when the world was their oyster, and on the fateful day we meet them, they are at a crossroads. Neither one knows it, but the events of the ensuing 24 hours or so will define their future. They will try to save their failing marriage, and they will find out some ugly truths along the way, including the fact that, sometimes, you can’t help but hurt the one you love.

Gosling and Williams’ awards-worthy portrait of the end feels, looks, and reads real.

The film was shot in sequence, from happy times to sad ones.

You can see the (d)evolution of the relationship, or help but be engrossed by it, and it’s a heartbreak of the most watchable sort...and that’s quite the incredible feat.

My Rating ****

Photo: The Weinstein Company.

Fun Bug

The Green Hornet – a friend of mine couldn’t believe I never watched the show when it was on the tube.

I had to remind this fellow I’m much younger than he (yah, by like, two-three years, he reminded me) to have caught the reruns, and that to me, Britt Reid would be the son of a prominent and respected Los Angeles media mogul, a spoiled schlub who would be happy to coast through life directionless...and a man who very much always will look like Seth Rogen.

And that, I don’t think, is such a bad thing.

By kicking off this emerald year at the movies (Green Lantern is still a-comin’) Rogen has accomplished what many before him (including George freakin’ Clooney, not to mention Jake Gyllenhaal, Mark Wahlberg, and filmmakers like Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino) haven’t: to bring the 1930s-radio property-turned-1960s-TV program to the big screen. And he’s done a pretty good job that hits all its marks. Honest!

The movie, directed Michel (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) Gondry and written by Rogen with his Superbad partner and real-life BFF Evan Goldberg, pairs the actor with Taiwanese multi-hyphenate Jay Chou as his Kato. The two have an easy chemistry, but if there is anything that works against the duo that would be the fact that Chou dances circles around Rogen with the greatest of ease. He clearly is a big, big star in the East – it just oozes out of him, and by that I mean It.

Not that the movie doesn’t click, because it ultimately does as a piece of well-meaning, amusing, but misguided – tonally, that is – entertainment. There are some elements in the movie that are as cool as they are inconsistent and thus, random. Regardless, if you’re in the market for a mindless afternoon at the theater then look no further.

As the moneyed and spoiled, wild-party-at-The Standard-throwing Britt, Rogen is borderline aggro in that man-child way, but, y’ know, fun because he looks like one of the guys (Rogen trimmed down for the part, but he didn’t go for a full rip, keeping his Every Joe-ness intact).

Like I said earlier, Britt’s just going through the motions, excelling at being an heir and resenting his tough-love dad (Tom Wilkinson) for a sin of the past that made quite an impact on the poor guy and left him feeling unloved.

When his father dies a mysterious one, though, our eventual hero must take responsibility for the family business, which he does in his own manner while nurturing his burning desire to fulfill his perceived potential in the most out-there way he’s always entertained but never acted upon – by righting wrongs as a masked vigilante.

He strikes an unlikely friendship with one of his father’s more industrious and inventive employees, (that’d be Kato, he who soups up the ride known as the Black Beauty on which they get around), and together they set out to fight crime and something meaningful for the first time in their lives. Their method is unorthodox, to say the least. They decide to act like criminals themselves in order to get the attention of the true bad guys, chief among them the ruthless Chudnofsky (Oscar winner Christoph Waltz, dialing back his Inglourious Basterds persona just enough in a part that once belonged to Nicolas Cage), sorta to destroy evil from within, if you will.

With the help of Britt’s new secretary, Lenore Case (Cameron Diaz, effective but miscast in a too-small-for-her role), the Green Hornet and Kato begin hitting L.A.’s gritty underworld where it counts, setting the stage for a ridikolous but exciting showdown that you best believe you needn’t splurge on to watch in 3-D, for 2-D will do just fine.

This one’s so popcorn, so enjoy it.

My Rating ***

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Shopgirl

Once upon a time, if memory serves (and I’m quite sure it does), Confessions of a Shopaholic had a different actress attached to its starring role: Lindsay Lohan.

Now, I’m not going to dwell on what could have been – mostly, because, well, what’s the point, but especially because in Isla Fisher the movie has found a many-splendored thing. Confessions of a Shopaholic is elevated by Fisher. Her character is beautiful, ditzy, insightful, resourceful, and wonderful, but it’s too bad that the movie doesn’t share all of those qualities, but three out of five (i.e., beautiful, ditzy, and resourceful) isn’t bad.

Thank goodness for Patricia Field, huh.

The movie is a cliché-ridden homage to a post-Carrie Bradshaw profession, that of a magazine writer in New York City. Fisher, who stole Wedding Crashers from Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn four years ago, plays Rebecca Bloomwood. She’s the kind of girl with enough pluck to make it in the big, indeed, except for one big problem: she’s an unabashed, rationalizing, hide-from-the-debt-collector shopaholic.

Rebecca’s almost $17,000 in the red, and unless she does something about it, well…things aren’t going to go so well for her, are they.

While she would adore to work at Alette, a top fashion magazine, she can’t get in the door – that is, until she scores a job (she doesn’t care for) at sister publication Successful Saving (after first meeting not-cute on the street with her editor, played by the dashing Hugh Dancy).

And, natch, as it is the wont of a rom-com, Rebecca only gets the job, as an advice columnist, after not getting it and then writing a “brilliant” essay drunk out of her skull on tequila, which she thought she was sending to Alette, and a beyond-inappropriate stick-it letter to Dancy’s Luke Brandon she’s too smashed to realize she’s switched….

But you know how it goes: In spite of these trappings it all works out in the end.

Rebecca’s columns become an overnight sensation, but when her shopaholism and growing debt issues threaten to destroy her love life and derail her career, she struggles to keep it together, and ultimately has to re-evaluate what matters in life.

Awww.

Confessions of a Shopaholic had the task to offer maximum escapism at a time in which large amounts of it seem like a slap in the face. To see Rebecca spend like it’s going out of style (which it…has) is a little irritating, but to see Fisher do it, to see her become a star, it’s a delight.

My Rating ***

Photo: Walt Disney Pictures.

Savings, Checking, Conspiracy, and Murder

The International Bank of Business and Credit is the world’s premiere private banking institution for high-net-worth individuals and multinational corporations. With branches around the globe operated by top multidisciplinary experts in all aspects of banking and related fields….

At least so goes the company line.

The IBBC actually is more interested in brokering arms deals, selling missiles under the table to third world countries, and assassinating anyone who threatens its Luxembourg-based operations – a good thing since that’s exactly what drives The International’s story, a crisp thriller starring Clive Owen and Naomi Watts.

The two play Interpol Agent Louis Salinger and New York ADA Eleanor Whitman. They have been working together restlessly to bring to justice the IBBC, but when their case hits a roadblock (i.e., when one of their colleagues bites it), they begin to uncover myriad and reprehensible illegal activities that put them on a trail of money and blood that goes from Berlin to Milan to New York to Istanbul.

Finding themselves in a high-stakes chase they may sway but not win, their quest for justice endangers their lives as their powerful targets will stop at nothing – nothing, I tell ya! – to continue financing terror and war.

The International worked for me because, you know, one of the things I enjoy so is seeing Clive Owen on screen.

Another one is seeing Naomi Watts.

If you put the two together, add a fantastic centerpiece shoot ’em up scene set in New York’s Guggenheim museum, mix in a thought-provoking commentary on the dangers of a large banking system, and throw a measure of Brian F. O’Byrne as a killer for hire, you get a taut piece of entertainment that is hard to resist.

Sure, the movie could’ve been a tad shorter, but you can never get enough of Owen’s intense green-eyed stare.

My Rating ***

Photo: Sony Pictures.

Extraordinary People

The new sci-fi fantasy so-called thriller Push, starring the never-to-go-shirtless-again Chris Evans, Dakota Fanning, Camilla Belle, and Djimon Honsou, opens today, and if you’re in the mood for a slightly better, longer episode of TV’s Heroes – and I say that because that show’s a mess these days – then you’re in luck.

Don’t get too excited just yet, though.

Evans plays Nick, a mover. This means he can, well…move objects or people telekinetically. Fanning – whom I really believed had gone into hiding since 2006’s Charlotte’s Web to avoid going through puberty in the spotlight but clearly had been shooting Push – is Cassie, a watcher (she can see the future). And Belle plays Kira, a pusher who can make her thoughts your own.

All three are hiding in Hong Kong from Division, a shadowy U.S. government agency that is hunting them down. In fact, Kira has escaped from their grasp, taking with her something they want back, and now Nick & Co. must work together to keep this safe, not to mention themselves, and maybe, just maybe bring down the agency.

Standing in their way, though, is Agent Carver (Honsou), a pusher who just won’t stop at nothing to keep them from achieving their goal.

So…OK – I’ve told you what you need to know about the plot of Push. Now let me talk about the execution.

Uhh…well, it’s a good-looking movie. Alright, read: If you’re going to do a movie like this then you need to make it really exciting. The concept is pretty cool and hip, that of calling these super-able people by names other than what we’d expect, and whatnot. Setting them in a far-off land works, too, since Hong Kong is such a great location. But you cannot make your action sooo derivative. It’s boring. You gotta make it edge-of-your-seat fun, not fidget-in-your-seat-because-you-know-what’s-coming by the book.

Evans makes a sympathetic lead, doing the most he can with a flatly written character, while Belle, whom I crush on from time to time, underwhelms with her limited range of facial and emotional expressions.

Fanning, though, is the reason to sit through this one.

She is a delight to watch – she is going to grow into a force to be reckoned with in Hollywood. This is a smart way for her to bypass cutesy roles usually reserved for teen actresses – she says “s---” a couple of times in the movie! (and pulls it off). She remains the most effective of the whole bunch. (If this were an episode of Heroes, the petition for a spin-off would start here.)

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Summit Entertainment.

The New Deal

Once upon a time, the episode of HBO’s Sex and the City titled “Pick-A-Little, Talk-A-Little” aired, and inspired the revolutionary self-help best-seller known as He’s Just Not That Into You.

Written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tucillo, a former executive story editor and writer on the show, the tome shone a light on the awful truths of dating, like if he’s not calling you…or marrying you…or sleeping with you, then – all together – he (or she) must not be that into you.

The movie by the same title is out today, and it’s a must-watch for two reasons.

First, the cast: When else are you going to watch such a good-looking ensemble, including Ben Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Drew Barrymore (an executive producer on it), Jennifer Connelly, Kevin Connolly (HBO’s Entourage), Bradley Cooper (TV’s Alias), Ginnifer Goodwin (HBO’s Big Love), Scarlett Johansson, and Barrymore’s ex, Justin Long, in one movie?

Not soon enough.

And second, it’s given Saturday Night Live a reason to tap Cooper to host tomorrow night. Now, that little added extra is worth the price of the ticket.

But I know. I digress.

He’s Just Not That Into You tells the Baltimore-set interconnected stories of a group of people facing the challenges of reading or misreading human behavior.

For instance, there’s Gigi (a radiant Goodwin), a wallflower-type who puts herself out there, but still can’t find a man to call her back. Is she trying too hard, or is she just plain ol’ unlucky in love?

Then there’s Beth (Aniston), a woman who has been in a relationship with Neil (Affleck) for seven years, but he’s still not proposing. Is he stalling, or is it never going to happen?

And there’s also Anna (Johansson), a femme fatale-type who’s stringing along Conor (Connolly), a good-boy realtor, and flirting with Ben (Cooper), an exec married to Janine (Connelly), a tightly wound co-worker of Gigi and Beth’s.

Look, He’s Just Not That Into You is a rom-com, and unfortunately, it’s a phenomenal one because the rom in it is so…calibrated, so…clean, so…precise, that it just falls short of something we can actually relate to. And the com in it, while insightful, is not ha ha! enough.

I still liked it, though.

But in a post-Rules, post-Sex and the City world, in which we (women and men) are supposed to be able to talk about feelings, I just did not think it really brought anything new to the table. Still, some of us need to watch this movie. Perhaps it can point us in the right direction, or perhaps it will make us smile. Often, that’s all you need.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Warner Bros.

Weapon of Mass Destruction

This summer, Angelina Jolie is going to kick some butt.

Screeeeeech! No, this isn’t 2005 or 2003 or 2001. It’s 2008, and the actress is co-starring alongside James McAvoy (Atonement) and Morgan Freeman in Wanted, an action movie from Russian-Kazakh director Timur Bekmambetov (Day Watch, Night Watch).

Wanted follows the rise to arguable greatness of Wesley Gibson (McAvoy), a paper-pusher ridden by anxiety trapped in a boring desk-job existence.

All Wesley wants is a life that means something. But Wesley is a sheep. His boss is constantly on his case, ditto his girlfriend, who is cheating on him with one his co-workers, and what is he doing about it? Nothing.

Do you know what whips a sheep into shape but good, though? A fox – a lady named Fox (Jolie) in this case.

Fox finds Wesley one night and tells him that his father, whom he thought dead, was in fact done in the day before, that he was one of the greatest assassins who ever lived, and that the man who killed his father is now after him.

And that’s how Fox recruits Wesley into the millennia-old Fraternity, a secret society that trains him to avenge daddy dearest by unlocking his dormant talents. See, he is one of the few people in the world who can shoot the wings off a fly. His father could, and so can he.

As our drone learns to develop lightning-quick reflexes and phenomenal agility, he also learns the ancient, unbreakable code that governs the so-called “weapons of fate” that make up the Fraternity: Kill one man. Save a thousand.

Slowly, though, Wesley realizes there is more to his deadly associates than previously revealed, especially when it comes to their enigmatic leader, Sloan (Freeman).

By the time he gets to the bottom of it – and Wanted delivers the ol’ switcheroo – you will have had just about enough of the movie’s ballistic, disconnect kinetics.

I enjoy a good shoot ’em up. In fact, I did when Shoot ’Em Up hit movie screens last year.

Wanted has elements of that Clive Owen vehicle, and of Crank, too. But unlike those movies, this one’s a little too dense, mythology-wise, for its own good.

As for McAvoy. Is it too soon for him to take on such a plum role? The Scot’s American accent is flawless, but is he just too unknown for audiences to connect with him? I say yes, but he pulls it off. This could be his breakthrough. (Sorry, Atonement.)

More off-putting, though, was how distractingly thin Jolie was during production. Girlfriend, you’re not a starletbot. You’re supposed to be the sexiest woman on the planet, the one for which several of your fellow H-town actresses would make the switch. Look the part.

Wanted is only so…if you really want it.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Universal Pictures.

Destiny’s Child-Bear

I finally saw Kung Fu Panda over the weekend – and I hearted it.

It’s been a long time since I’ve made it a point to go see an animated film on the big screen – I used to take my little sister when I lived at home.

It took me a little while (the movie opened on June 6), but you know the saying: better late than never. Strong word of mouth shall not be denied, I guess. Plus, panda bears are like, the new penguins….

Kung Fu Panda follows big, clumsy, but thoroughly enthusiastic panda bear Po (vividly voiced by Jack Black), quite literally the biggest fan of kung fu to be found in the ancient Chinese town of The Valley of Peace.

Po lives with his dad and works in the family noodle shop, but as it is the case, he yearns for more than that.

When he’s unexpectedly chosen to fulfill an ancient prophecy and become the Dragon Master, Po’s dreams become reality as he joins the exciting world of kung fu to study, under the tutelage of legendary Master Shifu (Dustin Hoffman), at the Jade Palace.

There he meets his lifelong idols, Monkey (Jackie Chan), Crane (David Cross), Mantis (Seth Rogen), Viper (Lucy Liu), and Tigress (Angelina Jolie) – a.k.a. the Furious Five – who do not appreciate Po’s arrival.

Before they know it, though, the vengeful snow leopard Tai Lung (Ian McShane) is headed their way, and it’s up to Po to defend everyone from the oncoming threat.

Kung Fu Panda takes us on a journey of self-realization. We see Po take charge of his destiny, save the day with a simple and inspired “Skadoush!” – all the while reminding us that no matter who you are and no matter where you come from, you can always change…become a better version of yourself.

It’s a great lesson to learn or be reminded of, especially because this big, clumsy, but thoroughly enthusiastic panda bear makes it so much fun.

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: DreamWorks Animation.

Secret Agent Man

The beloved 1965-’70 show Get Smart is the latest TV property to make the jump to the silver screen for our summer enjoyment – and the word on it is… it’s good.

And “Phew!” goes Hollywood….

Peter (Anger Management, 50 First Dates) Segal directs Steve Carell as bumbling secret agent Maxwell Smart in Get Smart, an action- and humor-packed movie about phone-shoes, espionage, and being all you that you can be.

I’ve never seen a single episode of the show, so Carell is, to me, Maxwell Smart. He’s an Everyman – one that shouldn’t be dismissed as unremarkable, for he is, in spite of his apparent shortcomings (he’s not especially strong, fit, or agile, and has been stuck behind a desk for many years), quite…well, smart. Carell is a natural fit for this role.

Smart’s not handsome or suave like James Bond, and he can’t handle a gun like Jason Bourne, but he’s a consummate and thorough old-fashion throwback, and that sets him apart. The movie may be a bit too standard, but it pulls all the right moves.

More than anything, he wants to prove himself as a CONTROL field agent.

That’s precisely what Smart gets to do after something bad goes down at CONTROL’s secret headquarters. The Chief (Alan Arkin), having told him he is too valuable an analyst to sent out into the world, reconsiders when Smart is left as the only agent whose identity hasn’t been discovered by the evil forces of KAOS.

Partnered with Agent 99 (Anne Hathaway), whose identity hasn’t been compromised, either, because she recently – oh, that’d be telling – Smart’s mission is to thwart KAOS’ latest plot for world domination.

As he and 99 get closer to unraveling KAOS’ evil master plan, and each other, thy discover KAOS operative Siegfried’s (Terence Stamp) plot to deliver a blow to the United States.

Get Smart is, thankfully, witty and funny and clever enough to play the shades of Sept. 11 in the script for laughs by focusing on Maxwell Smart’s enthusiasm – and by mercilessly mocking the current administration-inspired politicos who just can’t get it together the way he can.

The movie, which co-stars Dwayne Johnson as Agent 23, makes badasses out of Carell, Hathaway, and Arkin.

It’s a rich in quick double entendres, guileless time at the multiplex, and to boot, plays Madonna’s “4 Minutes” over the end credits. Does it get any better than that?

This one’s a winner “by that much.”

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: Warner Bros.

Seeing Green

“If at first you don’t succeed….”

That has got to be the saying that inspired Marvel Studios to commission another Hulk movie, considering the box office and story dud Ang Lee’s The Hulk, starring Eric Bana and Jennifer Connelly, was, don’t you think?

Nevertheless, The Incredible Hulk opened last Friday to boffo numbers – to the tune of $54 million – and even better, to positive word of mouth. And that’s priceless...and what studios really like.

There was some behind-the-scenes drama that seemed to point to failure for director Louis Leterrier’s reboot, but, as the Great Comic Book Adaptations Gods would have it, success was achieved instead.

Edward Norton stars as Bruce Banner, a scientist desperately seeking a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unstoppable force of rage that lies within him otherwise known as The Hulk.

Removed from his life and from the woman he loves, Betty Ross (Liv Tyler), hiding in a Brazilian favela, he struggles to avoid Gen. Ross’ (William Hurt) obsessive pursuit, and the military machinery that seeks to capture him and exploit his power.

As all three grapple with the secrets that led to The Hulk’s creation, they are confronted with a monstrous new adversary known as The Abomination (Tim Roth), whose destructive strength exceeds even The Hulk’s own.

To stop it, one scientist must make an agonizing final choice: accept a peaceful life as Bruce Banner or find heroism in the creature he holds inside – The Incredible Hulk.

Leterrier may not have Lee’s esteemed pedigree, but he knows how to deliver a crowd-pleasing summer blockbuster.

Working from a script by Zak Penn (whose credits include the X-Men sequels), the director of Transporter 2 gives our fantastic hero something fantastic to fight – and something fantastic worth fighting for, too.

This isn’t some heavy-handed meditation on I don’t know what. (Hey – Lee’s Hulk movie came out in 2003. And it was a snoozer. Do you remember it?)

There’s action in The Incredible Hulk, natch, but there also is a tenderness to it that is rather straightforward and effective.

And that’s why this version works, and that’s why it rocks. At long last, Hulk, welcome. May you do the Hulk Smash for many movies to come.

My Rating ***

Photo: Universal Pictures.

Like a Fine Wine

In Live Free or Die Hard, the fourth entry in the Die Hard series of movies starring the better-and-gruffer-with-age Bruce Willis, the United States finds itself cyber-attacked in the worst way.

The…uh…fourthquel comes out nearly 20 years after the original, and 12 years after the last entry, Die Hard With a Vengeance. It is a welcome re-introduction to Willis’ rough-around-the-edges, wisecracking Det. John McClane; obviously, it’s been a while since we last saw our hero, and although I wouldn’t call him a changed man, there sure is something different about him.

He’s divorced and estranged from his family, yet he remains committed to his job, in spite of having grown disillusioned by it. But this is a summer blockbuster, after all, so whatever funk he’s in, it’s going to be short-lived.

A mysterious fellow has launched a crippling “fire sale” on the country’s online infrastructure – traffic signals that go cuckoo bring cities to a halt; federal buildings are evacuated because of false anthrax alarms; financial markets crash; airplanes are grounded; the entire eastern corridor’s electricity is threatened – so it’s up to McClane to save the day.

Brawn meets brains when McClane is dispatched to pick up Matt Farrell (Justin Long), a computer hacker, and deliver him to the FBI in Washington, D.C., for questioning.

But moments after McClane shows up at Matt's door, an international crew of bad guys (including a très acrobatique et sexy mofo played by Cyril Raffaelli) assaults the apartment, setting off a long Fourth of July Weekend for the pair.

Parenthesis: Raffaelli is sooo hot – I had to simmer take a moment to simma down na. Il est simplement irresistible.

As they try to stay alive and ahead, McClane and Matt figure out who's masterminding the “fire sale” – bitter security expert Thomas Gabriel (Timothy Olyphant) – and encounter danger and excitement at every turn, including a death match between the no-nonsense detective and Gabriel's lover and accomplice (Mission: Impossible III’s Maggie Q), a badass martial-arts fighter.

Len Wiseman directed the movie with a vigor that is somewhat implausible, but Live Free or Die Hard succeeds in being that rare action movie that keeps it reasonably real, by today’s over-CGI’d standards, anyway. It's all about McClane. Some stunts will have you thinking McClane has learned to defy gravity in ways that no man ever could. But then again, didn’t he always?

Welcome back, McClane. You’ve only gotten better, so don’t be stranger….

My Rating ***

Photo: 20th Century Fox.

The Portrait of a Lady

I really don’t know how to begin to review A Mighty Heart, Michael Winterbottom’s docu-style retelling of the events that followed Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl’s kidnapping and eventual murder.

This being the first Important Film of the season – strike that, 2007 – I cannot talk about the story because what happens on screen closely depicts what may have happened in real life. And it would be pointless.

On Jan. 23, 2002, Mariane Pearl's world changed forever.

Her husband Daniel (Capote’s Oscar-nominated screenwriter Dan Futterman), South Asia bureau chief for the Wall Street Journal, had been researching a story on shoe bomber Richard Reid. The story drew the couple to the Middle East, to Karachi, where a go-between had promised him access to an elusive source.

As Danny left for the meeting, he told Mariane – who was six months pregnant – that he might be late for dinner.

She spent part of her day working, and the other part shopping for the ingredients for the picadillo she prepared that evening.

He never returned.

Full of dignity and respect, A Mighty Heart chronicles the agonizing days from the couple’s final good-bye, through the heartbreaking day when Mariane learns her husband “didn’t make it,” and past the birth of the son Danny had hoped to name Adam.

Transcending race, religion and nationality – and in Angelina Jolie’s case, all the headlines – the film is the portrait of Mariane's courageous and graceful desire to rise above the bitterness and hatred that continues to plague this post-Sept. 11 world.

As it was the case with United 93, A Mighty Heart’s strongest point is its all-too real story – that cannot be denied.

But Jolie’s tremendous performance carries the film, and serves as a timely reminder of what an able and dynamic actress she is. When her Mariane finally receives the devastating news she had feared, the actress’ sharp wail released a pain I felt in my skin.

My Rating ****

Photo: Paramount Vantage.

If He Builds It, We Will Laugh…

That’s the premise and goal of this sequel to the Jim Carrey-starring Bruce Almighty.

Evan Almighty stars Steve Carell as Evan Baxter, a minor character from the original God-made-me-do-it movie who has been spun off – and tasked by God (Morgan Freeman) to build an ark.

The movie cost upward of $175 million to make – wrangling pairs of animal can be rather expensive, you know – and that’s without factoring the marketing bill.

That price tag is ridikolous because as a comedy, this so-so sequel isn’t all that funny.

According to director Tom Shadyac, Evan Almighty is a movie about learning to respect the planet. (More than 2,000 trees were planted to neutralize the production’s carbon emissions.)

That’s quite commendable. Too bad they didn’t plant some much-needed humor as well.

Here’s the thing, though: The movie doesn’t blow large monkey chunks – as family entertainment, it is pretty good…there’s something in it for everyone.

Where Bruce was decidedly…naughtier, Evan is way more wholesome and thus, appealing to all.

The former dealt with a man who couldn’t connect to what was important to him (because he was a little selfish and whiny); the latter deals with a man who can’t wait to do this (because he is eager and hopeful).

Our hero wants to change the world, but this might prove a lot more difficult than the newscaster-turned-congressman anticipated – especially when it comes to balancing family and work.

When God commands him to build an ark, Evan just doesn’t know what to do. He questions whether the Big Man would “do this again”; how he’s expected to pull this off; and when he comes to terms with his assignment, what it all means.

Questions, questions, questions…. How about some frakkin’ jokes? (Wanda Sykes doing her ol’ Wanda Sykes shtick doesn’t count as a joke anymore.)

The most amusing aspect of Evan Almighty is that we’re asked to believe that Lauren Graham could be the mother to three teen- and pre-teen-aged boys.

As if.

Save this one for a rainy day.

My Rating **1/2

Photo: Universal Pictures.

Oh, L’amour

The collective Paris, Je T’aime explores the neighborhoods of the French capital, but, more importantly, it explores the connections Parisians make – the love they feel, the love they hide, the love for which they yearn….

C’est l’amour; it makes the film go ‘round.

A series of vignettes helmed by directors such as Wes Craven, Alexander Payne, and Walter Salles & Daniela Thomas, the film depicts a moment in the lives of some of the diverse people that inhabit and radiate in the City Lights.

Because the actors have a limited time to draw in the audience, it is essential that Paris Je T’aime be completely engaging.

It was.

I don’t know how each director managed the feat of establishing and making me care for these characters so quickly, but they did so rather successfully – for the most part.

(A couple of vignettes – “Porte de Choisy” and “Quartier de la Madeleine” were thematic departures, but enjoyable nevertheless.)

A particular triumph was Salles & Thomas’ “Loin du 16ème,” which followed Catalina Sandino Moreno’s struggle to balance motherhood and work (pictured at left), and observed the sacrifices that society often asks of people.

Frédéric Auburtin’s tenderly biting “Quartier Latin,” with Ben Gazzara and Gena Rowlands, and Richard LaGravanese’s hopefully romantic “Pigalle,” with Fanny Ardant and Bob Hoskins, were rather funny.

But Payne’s “14ème Arrondissement,” with Margo Martindale as an all-American woman in Paris, delivered the most heart and laughs with its meditation on self-awareness and falling in love with Paris.

To tell you that Paris, Je T’aime is a bold film would be easy, so be bolder and go see it.

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: AboutRufus.com.

Baby, Baby, Baby, Baby

Like most everyone else who enjoys a good laugh, I anticipated the delivery of Knocked Up in theaters, for I had heard nothing but positive things about Judd Apatow’s latest.

To say that I was a little disappointed by it would be a little...harsh. After all, I’m the kind of guy who prefers to look at the glass half-full (when it comes to these matters, anyway).

The comedy, which stars Katherine Heigl (TV’s Grey’s Anatomy) as Allison Scott, an up-and-coming entertainment journalist on the fast track who gets pregnant with slacker Ben Stone’s (The 40-Year-Old Virgin’s Seth Rogen) bundle of joy after a drunken one night stand, is pretty funny.

It is grounded in simple realities – should Allison go it alone? should she get to know the baby's father better? should Ben make an effort to quit being a doof and grow up, already? – and that is one its strongest points.

Another one is the show-stealing Leslie Mann, as Allison’s sister. She and on-screen hubby Paul Rudd bring to Knocked Up a subplot pregnant with marital angst that is alternately heartbreakingly infuriating and hilarious.

The movie’s story makes for a surprisingly touching experience – to see these people face something as new and as scary as the unexpected is rather gripping – albeit a longer one for which I’d prepared. (The movie clocks in at 129 minutes, and the first half has a better flow.)

Allison and Ben are completely wrong for each other, yet they are willing to work on their relationship for the greater good. I loved and respected that tremendously.

My Rating ***

Photo: Universal Pictures.

Jackpot!

A revenge job is the driving force behind Ocean’s Thirteen, a pretty darn good and handsome return to form for George Clooney and Co.

Mind you, I enjoyed Ocean’s Twelve, with its intricate plot and big budget indie look (Steven Soderbergh directed it – and all of the Ocean’s movies – after all). I totally don’t see how it was, as a critic puts it, “pleased with itself.”

But I digress. This is the first threequel of the summer that I can genuinely call a winner.

Danny Ocean (Clooney), Rusty Ryan (Brad Pitt), Linus Caldwell (Matt Damon), and their sleek brotherhood of con men come together again – back in Vegas, baby – to avenge one of their own, Reuben Tishkoff (Elliott Gould), who has been strong-armed out of a deal by ruthless casino owner Willy Bank (Al Pacino).

Bad move, Mr. Bank – you may have taken down one of the original Ocean’s Eleven, but you’ve left the others standing, and, they are not above getting even.

Firstly, they will ruin Bank financially by turning the tables on the precept that the house always wins. And secondly, they will add insult to injury by stealing his personal pride and joy: his reputation as the only hotelier who has earned the Royal Review Board’s Five Diamond Award on every single one of his hotels.

The plan is elaborate and near impossible – but if anyone can pull it off, you know it is Ocean’s Thirteen.

And who are the extra two players, you ask. Julia Roberts and Catherine Zeta-Jones sit this heist out because this is “not their fight” – the still smokin’ Ellen Barkin steps into the femme role, a little thanklessly, though – so the gang enlists old enemy Terry Benedict, once again played by Andy Garcia, and Eddie Izzard for the job.

But proving that, indeed, all good things must come to an end (and why is that, anyway, if the going is…good?), I think the movies have come full circle.

Ingeniously and successfully, Clooney and Co. have given us a fun trilogy destined to one day become somewhat of a classic. I know that’s quite the thing to say, but look at these movies and their casts. What more could you want?

My Rating ***1/2

Photo: Warner Bros.